The dream came again. Same as always. From my grandparents on Cassidy street to me standing on the ridge of the cave awaiting the beast from within to emerge. Last night it finally emerged. As I’ve always known, it was a great bear. I could always see it in my mind. I could feel it’s presence always guarding the entrance to the cave. Last night it came out from the shadows into the light.
I find myself in awe of such a giant spirit. It cast a large shadow standing before the sun. Shadow stretched large enough hide a dozen men from the fire of the sun. it stands tall on his hind legs looking at me. I see a vision in my mind being projected from the spirit bear. He shows me green trees and a mossy Forrest floor. Ferns and other creatures of the Forrest. I know this is a vision because I’m standing on the edge of a dark cave in the middle of a vast bare mountain side covered in snow and ice. I can still feel the bitter cold wind on my face still. Yet in my mind I see this beautiful warm green lush forest. I ask the great bear what he is showing me? I ask why after all this time is he finally coming out to the light? He goes back to all fours and enters back into the cave. I feel a strong pull to follow.
This is where I woke up. I feel the need to meditate and try to understand what the message is. There’s more still to be told I’m sure, but since this dream has been ongoing for my life I’m excited and curious. 
How often do we get mislabeled, misdiagnosed, misunderstood? I’m sitting here alone in silence, having multiple conversations at once. Not out loud, but in a different space. When I say that, most think I’m nuts, schizophrenic, hallucinating. But it’s how you look at it. So they cast me with that diagnosis, but yet I show no signs of it and they assume then I’m lonely and looking for attention. That again is wrong because being around people drives me crazy. Most introverted empaths understand what I mean. I don’t hate people, but dealing with all their energy can be draining. So know you’re labeled an attention seeker. No I’m not looking for attention. Trust me. If I wanted attention, I have no problem flailing my hands and saying look at me. After 10 years of health problems, I have no trouble getting attention when I need it. So if that’s the case, you’re misunderstanding my meaning of conversations alone in silence.
This is my observation on how people treat me when I talk the way I do. I’m not judging anyone for this, because that’s how they see me. That’s how they relate my words to their ego. The best group of people I have met, are like myself a bit eccentric. That’s the nice way of saying whackadoo, batshit, weirdoes. I mean that with the deepest love and appreciation for my tribe. Unlike tribes you are born into, this is one of love and choice. We have different beliefs and experiences. Out in public as individuals we blend. Just because we’re not that different. We have the same desire for growth and community so why is it when we get together we are a bunch of nut jobs? So when I tell them I go on journeys, and talk to other things, they understand. It’s like prayer, or imagining a sunny skies and green grass, because your unable to go to it physically and your trying not to let the dark thoughts bring you down. It’s me instead listening to the wind, or crickets, trees, or birds. After a while you understand it. It becomes language and teaches you things that bring you to a new understanding of what we are.
We are just energy in a meat suit. We come from each other. Being us is just a new experience to teach the species to survive. I know that there are some of us that get this understand that every breath is a gift. You don’t know yourself until you listen to your innermost self. Once you understand that, you understand your belief. You start to see what your reality really is. Once you realize who you are you start to listen. You create yourself. You put that image out into the universe. You give it birth. You breathe air into its lungs.
I decided this is my reality. Maybe it could be dementia, or something else. I am though in my mind completely sane. To me it’s no different than prayer, or contemplative thought. I understand it. It’s a different language. So since I try hard not to go off on religious folk, I remember that this is just how they understand me. so I accept that I can’t fully communicate with them that way and instead express other language. Find the common tongue. Love is fairly universal. We all have a similar idea of love. So let’s talk about that. Let’s share our love for each other. Let’s not waste time on differences we will not agree on. Instead let’s learn more about things we love together.
Love you all
I’m tired of being mislabeled, misdiagnosed, and misunderstood. As a sailor said ”I am’ut’Iam and dadsaulluh-t’iam” and that’s me back at the kids table. That’s all folks!
I find myself working to make a space feel comfortable and safe for all, and while I’m doing it I appear to be possessed by a spirit. I am stockpiling leaves, dirt, and herbs and hiding it to keep it safe from men who want to take it to dispose of it. They feel threatened by us. I am conjuring water and creating shallow pools in areas. We are preparing for a ritual. The ritual will ensure happiness, health, and prosperity for our tribe. With me is someone I trust to help ensure I don’t do something that is potentially dangerous to the community.
Because I am new to this role in the community he keeps an eye on my work as I place ingredients in strategic places to make the work most effective, and beneficial to the cause. He watches me while I’m working. Trying to figure out what the spirit inside me is saying. It’s not a language he seems to understand. He hears words that sound familiar, but he doesn’t know what they are. He asks the spirit in me what it means by “koto ayé” ? It shows him all the work we are doing and starts talking quickly going over all the work. We start covering our stashes of supplies with blue tarps then hiding those tarps with coverings of loose long grasses.
While working, snakes start appearing everywhere. They are all bright vibrant red snakes with black and yellow bands on them. They are all coming at me quickly. They are biting me then leaving. My friend who is watching is blown away by the events unfolding. My clearly possessed self keeps talking in this language. the words “koto ayé” keep popping up in the phrases. All the while more of these colonial snakes keep biting me and leaving.
Things start to cam down and I sir down on an old couch that is outside, probably being thrown away, but because I’m tired from channeling this spirit and am coming back to the surface with myself, I clearly am tired and need to rest. I am on this couch now, and I see nobody else around. All the work I did seems to be hidden because I see nothing of it left. Instead I’m on this couch outside one of the homes of my childhood. Nobody is around. I still feel bites from the snakes though. I sit confused trying to understand what happened. I felt fear while I was working, but now I’m calm and I know I’m safe.
When I woke from this dream I searched the meaning the familiar person (Gwidion) in my dreams was asking about. It’s Yoruba, which is spoken in Nigeria, and “koto ayé” translates to “the world”.
Finding my way to the journey, I start scrambling to get a hold of something to break my fall. I find myself in the passenger side of a car but we must be in Europe somewhere as I’m on the left and the steering wheel is on the right side of the vehicle. Amore is in the driver side and she is asleep. We are in the middle of a turn lane waiting to cross traffic to get to a street on the other side of 3 lanes of oncoming traffic. I panic and grab her arm to shake it and I tell her to wake up. she gets up and is startled and confused. we get a clearing in the traffic and cross. She asks what we are doing and I tell her we’re meeting family at a lake. When we find ourselves at the lake its an old quarry. but its filled with sharks and these giant serpents. They have huge heads with giant teeth. the heads look like some sort of dragon. The sharks all of a sudden aren’t seen in the water anymore. but I feel their presence. like they are hiding in the deep parts that the light no longer reach. some are hiding in muddy parts of the water. waiting for prey to fall into their trap. I try to climb down into the quarry to meet the people who are waiting for us to arrive. when I get close to the bottom I decide to jump in the water to find the water was much higher than it appeared. like there is an additional 15 to 20 feet of water depth that is so clear it appears to be invisible. I get over to where there is a young child standing on a rock trying to work up the courage to jump in the water. They a re confused because the giant serpents in the water are only supposed to be out at night, but there are several that keep emerging from the holes under the water. “They could swallow you up.” he says. I ask “where is uncle John?” The child replies with a point of his finger, across the lake. I turn to look and see someone high up un a cliff that looks to be hundreds of feet above the water. I jump in the water and swim as fast as I can across to the base of the cliff, without being seen and caught by the sharks hiding in the water as well as the dragon serpents. Instead when I get on the land on the other side I find now that I am the one High up on the cliff. its red geometric rocks and I now am on the highest parts alone. I look down and its far too dangerous to jump from this height. I am being told by an old bearded dwarf that my organs are deteriorating because I am not meant to be in this place. he continues to tell me that I need to swim in the clean freshwater lakes instead and I need to find a colder climate. “you’re built for colder climate.” With that, I find myself now outside a small cabin in the mountains. There is a garden to the side and a pile of firewood by the door. It appears to be in a small clearing of pine and ash trees. I hear birds and the sky is bright blue and it has some beautiful fluffy white clouds. I look around and I appear o be alone at the cabin. I have an axe on my hip and a shield in my hand. I am expecting a fight coming my way. I hear something coming. its getting closer as I hear crashing in the trees. I grab my axe and ready for battle.
More and more I see things that I shouldn’t. It never makes things easier to handle. When you suffer from crippling anxiety attacks, it paints you into a corner of fear. In trying to lessen the pain you try looking for a place to hide. You hide in a dark corner, scared and paralyzed. The beast whispers from the dark, feeding the fear more. How do you find peace when you don’t know you have it already?
First thing is to realize the fear is nothing. It’s something you create in your mind. It’s a shadow of our doubts and insecurities. So face them with your eyes open. Really look at them. Instead of running from them, embrace them with love and understanding. They are parts of you. They have been manipulated to appear as monsters by either past traumas, or just fearing the unknown.
I have bad attacks all the time, but less and less I’m needing medication to handle them. Don’t get me wrong, I still have ones that require medication to calm me. What I started trying to look at what it was that was triggering the attack. Understand why it causes such an insecure fear and helplessness in my mind. Then I realize that’s it. It’s insecurity in my mind. For me it’s a fear of not accomplishing anything in my life. A fear of the great things in my life being over just as I feel I found them. Fear of my passing young because of the physical health issues, and there’s my wife and children having to go through stuff without me to help.
Today I tried to take care of myself. I was faced with opposition from an outside person. Their hostile action and words, triggered the beast in me. I wanted to lash out. I may be broken physically, but I can still do a lot of damage if I give into that feeling. Instead I met their angry words with “have a beautiful day!” I left. I came home. The beast settled, but that fear of not being able to care for myself took hold. It brought physical and emotional pain. Self doubt and feelings of inadequacy spun me back to the anxiety. I start to ask if it’s worth it? what if I just check out early? You know that doesn’t help, but it seems pleasant enough. No more pain. No more anger. No more fear. The thing is I’ve seen the devastation it leaves. It just passes all of it on to those who love you to deal with. So now what? The only freedom you feel you have is not real either. So look within maybe? In all the meditation I do, I end up seeing things. I hear things. Again I question my sanity, but some are memories of my own, but also things I have never seen before. Ghosts and echos shine through. Is this what I have left? The thoughts of my own darkness mixed with images not of my own creation. Stuck in my cell I created for myself, I feel alone even though I’m surrounded by loved ones.
Fear is irrational. I tell myself this every day. I wake up, and say it will be a good day. Others may throw a stone, but really it’s up to me if I allow it to chink my armour. So I continue my ritual of affirmation. The cycle has to stop somehow. I’ll take it on. I will venture deep into that shadow in me, and instead of slaying the beast, let me learn to ride it. Let me use it as I search in the vastness of the universe in me, and ride it like a dragon through the shadows and find myself again. Look again and find that the weakness perceived is actually strength of enduring. Stand up and dust it off. Bolster it with love and support. Open my closed eyes and see the beauty in that darkness. Then when my footing again I can walk with those who come looking for the owl to help them find their way through the dark.
There is a constant push/pull. We are unsettled because at our taught behaviors, we are told that the light must prevail. Like all things there is balance. In nature there is balance. In the universe there is balance. Those people who seem to have it together, still secretly lose their shit. Those who seem to be always losing it, still find moments of peace. Being balanced isn’t fighting the current, but instead letting the current take you. Flowing with it. The struggle I see in so many is a self perpetuating one. So many worry about the outside world and how they are perceived by it. We come on these social media spaces and try to be perfect. But we’re imperfect, and that’s what makes us beautiful.
Last night I saw 2 brothers. In my vision it was Sam and Dean Winchester. Some may watch the show supernatural and be familiar with these characters. In my vision it was played out like an episode of that show. The show does an excellent job of portraying the fight between the dark and the light. They use the stories of cane and able, god and Lucifer. They fight for power between sides. Last night though, I was shown how one side becomes another. How in these transitions they find understanding. This is because as in nature, we too are neither dark or light. We are both and we are neither. We are the same but uniquely different. While this message is shared, we fail to truly understand what that means. This is why we fight. This is why we get wars this is why we get oppression and rebellion. Neither side exists without the other.
This planet is at a critical mass. We over cultivate and let our fear drive our decisions. We see others as a threat. We make excuses for why we act selfish instead of admitting it’s fear of losing. This thought of “well this person used a fake twenty to buy some shit, so he must be a criminal mastermind “ is forcing someone to fear that they are losing something. So in an act of self preservation they all for help and unknowingly start an avalanche of fear. Fear is only an emotion and should always be tempered with understanding. When it’s not, it causes a ripple. That ripple carries with it an echo. That echo gets amplified and causes the ripple to gain velocity. We use fear as an excuse to do more violent things. It is constant. The only way to not make it worse is to let it go. Step aside and let it eventually slow down. What happens, happens. We can complain about the aftermath, but the events occurred because we gave into fear and lack of empathy.
We can not control anything but our choices. Our actions are just a reaction to those choices. Trying to control anything other than our choices causes a reaction that you already lost control of by thinking you could control what was never yours to manipulate.
If you want change, don’t try to change the outside. Instead, change from within. Accept that. Grow from that. Accept that you are beautifully imperfect, and you are not a color, flag, or belief. You are one. You are you. Growth comes from acceptance.
It’s a little difficult to feel “normal” these days. While I have a lot of issues, my world does not stop. I have been spending more time at my fires, lighting the way for the additional flux of spirits crossing. I have often thought that what I deal with is only related to me. If I am feeling overwhelmed, then I must have done something to create that? Then I am reminded that its not even about me. I am just here to keep the fires lit, and the path clear for the energy travelling between the realms.
I had a few times that I was already in bed and trying to sleep, when I become overwhelmed and have to go out and start a fire. in todays medicine, therapists would tell me I’m self perpetuating anxieties. I would be given another pill for anxiety, and billed another $250 and rescheduled to come back and do it again next week. That only helps the therapists and doctors, not me. What they don’t understand is that there is no off switch. There’s no “regular hours of operation” for me. If there’s energy to process, I have to deal with it right away. Not processing that energy causes a tremendous amount of stress. Living with Lupus, that stress manifests into an array of physical ailments.
I know a lot of answers I go looking for I already know. So why do I go seeking help? Is it help I am seeking, or is it just validation? I go out and look for people to share thoughts with, and almost always I am guarded. My early programming tells me I must be crazy, or I’m mentally unstable. It tells me I don’t go up to people and share what I am dealing with, because then I will be put somewhere to be “treated” and nobody will believe me. The problem I then run into is that I created a doubt in the minds of those who may understand. They see me as having less of an ability then I have. That problem means that when I speak, they take my words as they would take those of a child. I don’t let that bother me though. I learned long ago that people hear what they want. I can tell someone that I see someone perched on top of an elephant carrying a torch and spear, and they are here to warn you not to take from the garden of sickness or you shall fall to a dark force that will take your heart! What they take from that ends up being, “wow! This crazy mother fucker is seeing elephants and monsters and shit. He is off his meds or something!” Then they continue to march their fat ass into MacDonald’s to eat another 3000 calorie pile of shit for lunch. I did my job. I told them. If they chose to hear something other than, “take better care of yourself because you’re on your way to a heart attack”, that’s on them.
So why do I bother? Do I feel I’m crazy? Of course! I constantly question my sanity. I often ask myself if I am just having an overactive imagination, or am I really getting visions? What I found though, is that I am sane and just have a unique way to access other knowledge. I take the things I sense, and examine them. What do they represent? What does this have to do with conduits?
Everything, and nothing because I am the conduit in this story.
What I do and What I am are not all I am. I am a friend, brother, son, father, grandson, grandfather. I’m the friend who always genuinely wanted to be with you. I’m the guy who always made sure you were safe. I’m the one who really wants you to be happy. I am here to walk with you on your journey so you know you’re not alone. So what am I looking for? We all have something we want to achieve? My achievements are and always have been attainable and simple things to pass the time. Maybe they help someone, or maybe they are just something to be pondered. Regardless it’s not my place to be something more than what I am. I’m in the simplest explanation, a conduit. A bridge from one form of energy to another. A link between realities. I don’t in anyway perform tricks, or call up dead folks on an invisible phone. I can intend to guide a path but it’s like putting a rock in a stream. It may do something, or nothing at all. The real measure of the success or failure is whether the action helped the person feel better.
I Spend more time away from people not because of the great risk this pandemic is for somebody with a compromised immune system, but instead because I have a heavy workload already dealing with the constant flow of energy. I am not a shaman to be trendy in the age of “new age” (really ancient ways). I don’t do it for likes in the insta-lifestyles of the validation seeking sea of people today. I hate social media but understand its a tool to be used. I just am a shaman because my spirit came home again after I crossed the veil myself a few times. As a shaman, I don’t seek payment for services. I don’t want to take your money to support my hippie lifestyle. I am a shaman because that’s what the universe set out for me. So many “lightworkers” are only in it for the accolades. I just want to get a good nights sleep and genuinely help. If I help someone and they choose to give me a token of appreciation, I am grateful. I don’t, however spend my time trying to make money off of playing with peoples beliefs. This isn’t me calling all lightworkers wrong, fake, or dishonest. Its me saying to take them for what they are. They are people trying to make it in a world doing what they enjoy. There’s not one damn thing wrong with that! I just wish they would stop trying to make themselves something they aren’t. You can be a shamanic practitioner and use techniques real shaman use, but the tools do not make you a shaman. I hate to use the name shaman, because it is a title that is to be given by the people of the tribe. Its not one given by your own hand. I don’t go introducing myself as a Shaman, I’m just Brad. Nice to meet you!
In today’s world, people measure their happiness on others. They use another person’s life as a guide to success. They look for affirmation through social media likes. Maybe they measure it mathematically by the numbers that appear in a bank account. Instead I’m offering a different perspective to happiness. What if you did something for no reason but to make you happy? Some do it all the time, but then they decide to post up on twitfaceogram, and they get judgment. They want approval even though they already had happiness. Now that happiness is marred with troll spit, and bullshit. Maybe just be happy with what you have. Don’t seek approval from anyone else. Your approval is all you need. I know it sounds like hippy bullshit, but is it really?
I’m not saying anything new. It’s already been said. It’s already been done. I’m just here to repeat the message, and point in a direction. Is it the right direction? I don’t know, but let’s check it out together.
If there’s one thing my wife will attest to, is that I have a hell of a time closing doors. Bathroom, pantry, cupboard, drawers too. Every night sitting down to dinner, her and the children are following behind me closing everything. Sometimes she plays the mother role to me as well, making me turn around and. Hit the cupboard. Needless to say I was sent a teacher to teach me a lesson about open doors. I still am suffering the consequences of my bad habit.
Several weeks ago I started having this old Haitian man saying things in my ear. He wasn’t just in my subconscious mind, but he would manifest in the conscious one as well. I came to find out he’s not just some random spirit, but a Lwa. Papa Legba started showing up sending me visions while I was awake. Papa Legba is great spirit that grants or denies passage through to the other side. As I’m being taught by him now, the consequences of opening doors and not closing them.
I found out a few weeks ago, my first lesson. I did my ritual that day, calling on Papa Legba to open a specific set of doors to very unspecific places. I went into those places with open ended questions and open invitation to anyone. I got no real answers, but some cool stories. One of which involved a piece of the sky falling. The thing was I forgot to thank the spirits and send the back, as well as forgetting to thank Papa Legba while asking him to close the doors again. My night was so insane that I went back out and finished the ritual at sunrise, almost begging instead of asking for him to close the door.
The next week I missed doing my ritual due to a bad migraine day. Sophisticated week I get extra offerings to make up for missing last weeks appointment. I again set my altar and go start the ritual to open up a single door this time, with specific place and people. Well again I get interrupted and I forget to close the ritual. Again this morning I was outside closing a ritual that should have been done before I left to make dinner. Closing the ritual only takes a few moments to thank the spirits and the gate keeper, and shut the damn door, but no. I like a dumbass got distracted again.
I don’t want to complain because I spent the night talking with so many loved ones I didn’t want to get up. It was overstimulating though. I woke in such an anxiety attack I didn’t even remember what I was doing. After a while of it not letting up my sister came through clear as a bell. In that moment I realized what I had done. I closed the ritual and wrote in my notes to not forget again.
The point of all this, is to share my experience with you on the importance of following ritual and not “winging it”. Ritual is taught to help everyone avoid these pitfalls of doing something improperly or incomplete. It’s like making a pie and forgetting the sugar. Trust me on that one too, NOBODY will let you forget it. So take the time to prepare. Take the time to pay attention to all the details. So in short, if you open a for, close it when you’re done.
Everyone wants to charge for information but I’m providing information for free because if I can help just one person understand something a little clearer, than I help the whole world. Balancing the scales as it were. I believe in order for this world to heal, we need to provide EVERYONE who wants to improve their lives or enrich it, then EVERYONE needs access, not just those who have the money to pay for it. Mind you if you want to show your appreciation, I will gladly accept it, but I’m just going to put it into the temple and it’s mission of providing for all. I know I will have friends be angry with me for sharing everything, but they will still love me and support me. That’s why they’re friends.
Thank you for spending a little time with me today. Remember to stay true to your path, and always lead with love and keep balance in all things.
As I have seen in my life, religion is an antiquated idea used anymore as a tool to leverage ones personal goals and political agendas. It serves no semblance of what it supposedly was to be in its origins.
As a child, I went to church. Not by choice of course, but because I was told I had to. The church I went to though was pretty good as I remember it. There was no preaching of fear, xenophobia, politics, just the basic ideals of being a good person. There was scripture read of course, but I have no memories of someone telling me I would burn in hell. But it made no sense to me that there was this one old dude up in the sky to save us all. I believed there was more to it that nobody else seemed to understand.
Why do so many religions talk of these beings and expect them to deliver us from our mundane lives? Why did they not look at everything as god? Why couldn’t a tree, or a rock be god? To me it made just as much sense. I tried to figure out why if god created us in his image, then why were there so many people looking so different and why are there women? I mean seriously it was the most contradictory shit I had heard. I felt that there was more I needed to understand, but I didn’t get answers from anyone who claimed to have authority on said belief systems.
I had this idea that we dreamed of gods. We create them in our minds and bring life to them in our hearts. We share their stories with our words. So does this not make us gods? In that idea, are we not gods of the gods? We dream into existence, therefore without us there is no existence? These ideas can get you pretty twisted. I tried to learn from many different religions I came across. The thing I found in many that seemed to carry a little light for me to follow. In the root of most belief systems comes down to love but the rest of the stuff was just self preservation and fear driven order. Well I was good with the idea of love, the rest was all just political bullshit. The stories created by men, to justify themselves in positions of power to do as they will. The concept was not exclusive to the monotheistic religions, but into the polytheistic ones as well. It came down to those leading the groups. It was all political bullshit for personal gains.
I gave up on it all and quickly dismissed everyone and everything that had anything to do with indoctrination. I followed nobody but my own heart. It secluded me though. I still had my dreams. I still had this ability to feel energy around me. To understand the world around me. The rocks, trees, water, animals, everything I felt connected to. So all this made me do was to feel alone because nobody seemed to get it.
I started getting dreams where I was visited by these gods I read about. They were all coming to me asking me to help them see. I dismissed it as weird dreams. Soon though my eyes opened. All 3 of them. I started getting mass downloads that feel as if there’s no end. I started hearing a single voice. An old creole man. Talking half creole and half English. He opened the gates wide in my mind. I noticed similarities between us. My use of a cane, my likeness for treats, coffee, and smoke. Both of us in the same location of the crossroads. I found how to talk to him and I asked for help to understand. My fire was the busiest it’s ever been that night. Today I will go talk to him again. This time with the sun high in the sky. It was setting the last time. Turns out he prefers the sunshine while I’m allergic to it. Small price to pay for knowledge though.
I know I just flipped the narrative from past to present, but it’s because I’m still traveling on this journey. However now I know I have stories to tell. I already shared a short one about a painted sky. It came Saturday night. Sunday morning we had a meteor come ripping through causing all sorts of madness. I shared it on my other social media accounts. The others I’m still writing down.
The point of this post is to be the one to tell you, a lot of people have it wrong. There’s a kinship between a lot of the religions. The things that separate them is language and understanding. Think of it as something that speaks only in images and metaphors. It leaves so much to interpretation. The problem is it leads to misunderstanding, and greedy weaker people using it as a weapon to take the strength of the weaker minds. Don’t be so quick to dismiss things. Instead take time to understand it in your own way. Only can you know something by spending the time with it, as to truly understand.
Hate is taught by man, fear is learned by ignorance.
Love and compassion comes from time and understanding the deeper connection
This past weekend I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. There’s all sorts of chaos and energy going on. I tried my best to spend time at our pagan perspectives nonprofit table at the healing psychic fair. I showed up around noon to just try to be present. There wasn’t a lot of people showing up. Probably because it was a beautiful day and everyone was getting spring fever. I noticed with all the practitioners there, they all seemed to be in good spirit regardless of the turnout. The strongest thing I noticed was my fellow leaders of our group were distracted. There’s issues that were being dealt with in the community that were bringing some very dark energy. There was many discussions with multiple friends. I felt completely confident though that it would pass. I noticed I’ve been reassuring many of their space and security. Then I had to leave to take my wife home for some food. Amore actually came to show support and got a reading as well as a reiki session. So when she said she was hungry I said farewell to my friends and left.
Later that night I started hearing zydeco music as well as tribal drums. I’ve heard the drums before because so many cultures have a strong connection with drums in their origins, but the zydeco music was new. It’s come into my head as an ear worm. Maybe some dr John song in my head etcetera. Then the energy got dark and strange. I started getting messages and when I shared them I typed it out how it sounded in my head. Then the messages were coming in loud and very creole. I speak French and it gives me a good starting off point to help with the creole. I was being communicated to strongly by some creole man. A bit older in a big hat who was very direct. He mentioned a name I never heard of before. He said Erzurie had plans or something for me. I decided I needed to relax because I was getting all worked up. I took a shower and smoked a bowl before going to lay in bed and listen to music. My wife came in and we were talking about the day’s events, and her being curious decided to look up the name Ezurie that I mentioned. Now I don’t do that, because my responsibilities as a shaman is to be in the moment ants not assume translation or insight to any messages. They’re not for me, but this was different because this guy was talking directly to me. So she finds out that Exurie is a spirit in Haitian beliefs. A loa. I thought it was interesting because I keep getting messages of unity, strength, and love, and here’s this loa who is a spirit of love apparently. So again I laugh at myself and my sanity, thinking how I keep getting dirties and such just showing up in my life like a neighbor stopping in for a cup of tea. All night this guy keeps showing up talk my ear off. The more he’s talking, the more I feel I need to go to New Orleans. I’ve always wanted to, but never have. It gets stronger until 2 days later I decided I would look up and see how much it might cost for us to take a little vacation to the big easy. Me being me looked up New Orleans travel for the magically inclined. Third spot down there’s that name again, Exurie. This doesn’t get anymore clear as to what I have to do. I mean the last time messages and synchronicities were this strong was when I woke from a conversation with Odin to 2 ravens outside my window yelling at me. So here I am now planning a trip to New Orleans with my wife.
I don’t know what’s in store next, but there are huge things coming. Shifts have been happening and roles are changing in the community. I’m being pushed into this so hard but I’m accepting it. It’s exciting and crazy. My vision of community and ripples is still there, just a few key roles have changed. I’m curious to see what I find in New Orleans and where it takes us next.
I love sharing my journey with you all. I will keep you updated.
Snowy Owls House 