My temple

It’s a little difficult to feel “normal” these days. While I have a lot of issues, my world does not stop. I have been spending more time at my fires, lighting the way for the additional flux of spirits crossing. I have often thought that what I deal with is only related to me. If I am feeling overwhelmed, then I must have done something to create that? Then I am reminded that its not even about me. I am just here to keep the fires lit, and the path clear for the energy travelling between the realms.

I had a few times that I was already in bed and trying to sleep, when I become overwhelmed and have to go out and start a fire. in todays medicine, therapists would tell me I’m self perpetuating anxieties. I would be given another pill for anxiety, and billed another $250 and rescheduled to come back and do it again next week. That only helps the therapists and doctors, not me. What they don’t understand is that there is no off switch. There’s no “regular hours of operation” for me. If there’s energy to process, I have to deal with it right away. Not processing that energy causes a tremendous amount of stress. Living with Lupus, that stress manifests into an array of physical ailments.

I know a lot of answers I go looking for I already know. So why do I go seeking help? Is it help I am seeking, or is it just validation? I go out and look for people to share thoughts with, and almost always I am guarded. My early programming tells me I must be crazy, or I’m mentally unstable. It tells me I don’t go up to people and share what I am dealing with, because then I will be put somewhere to be “treated” and nobody will believe me. The problem I then run into is that I created a doubt in the minds of those who may understand. They see me as having less of an ability then I have. That problem means that when I speak, they take my words as they would take those of a child. I don’t let that bother me though. I learned long ago that people hear what they want. I can tell someone that I see someone perched on top of an elephant carrying a torch and spear, and they are here to warn you not to take from the garden of sickness or you shall fall to a dark force that will take your heart! What they take from that ends up being, “wow! This crazy mother fucker is seeing elephants and monsters and shit. He is off his meds or something!” Then they continue to march their fat ass into MacDonald’s to eat another 3000 calorie pile of shit for lunch. I did my job. I told them. If they chose to hear something other than, “take better care of yourself because you’re on your way to a heart attack”, that’s on them.

So why do I bother? Do I feel I’m crazy? Of course! I constantly question my sanity. I often ask myself if I am just having an overactive imagination, or am I really getting visions? What I found though, is that I am sane and just have a unique way to access other knowledge. I take the things I sense, and examine them. What do they represent? What does this have to do with conduits?

Everything, and nothing because I am the conduit in this story.

What I do and What I am are not all I am. I am a friend, brother, son, father, grandson, grandfather. I’m the friend who always genuinely wanted to be with you. I’m the guy who always made sure you were safe. I’m the one who really wants you to be happy. I am here to walk with you on your journey so you know you’re not alone. So what am I looking for? We all have something we want to achieve? My achievements are and always have been attainable and simple things to pass the time. Maybe they help someone, or maybe they are just something to be pondered. Regardless it’s not my place to be something more than what I am. I’m in the simplest explanation, a conduit. A bridge from one form of energy to another. A link between realities. I don’t in anyway perform tricks, or call up dead folks on an invisible phone. I can intend to guide a path but it’s like putting a rock in a stream. It may do something, or nothing at all. The real measure of the success or failure is whether the action helped the person feel better.

I Spend more time away from people not because of the great risk this pandemic is for somebody with a compromised immune system, but instead because I have a heavy workload already dealing with the constant flow of energy. I am not a shaman to be trendy in the age of “new age” (really ancient ways). I don’t do it for likes in the insta-lifestyles of the validation seeking sea of people today. I hate social media but understand its a tool to be used. I just am a shaman because my spirit came home again after I crossed the veil myself a few times. As a shaman, I don’t seek payment for services. I don’t want to take your money to support my hippie lifestyle. I am a shaman because that’s what the universe set out for me. So many “lightworkers” are only in it for the accolades. I just want to get a good nights sleep and genuinely help. If I help someone and they choose to give me a token of appreciation, I am grateful. I don’t, however spend my time trying to make money off of playing with peoples beliefs. This isn’t me calling all lightworkers wrong, fake, or dishonest. Its me saying to take them for what they are. They are people trying to make it in a world doing what they enjoy. There’s not one damn thing wrong with that! I just wish they would stop trying to make themselves something they aren’t. You can be a shamanic practitioner and use techniques real shaman use, but the tools do not make you a shaman. I hate to use the name shaman, because it is a title that is to be given by the people of the tribe. Its not one given by your own hand. I don’t go introducing myself as a Shaman, I’m just Brad. Nice to meet you!

In today’s world, people measure their happiness on others. They use another person’s life as a guide to success. They look for affirmation through social media likes. Maybe they measure it mathematically by the numbers that appear in a bank account. Instead I’m offering a different perspective to happiness. What if you did something for no reason but to make you happy? Some do it all the time, but then they decide to post up on twitfaceogram, and they get judgment. They want approval even though they already had happiness. Now that happiness is marred with troll spit, and bullshit. Maybe just be happy with what you have. Don’t seek approval from anyone else. Your approval is all you need. I know it sounds like hippy bullshit, but is it really?

I’m not saying anything new. It’s already been said. It’s already been done. I’m just here to repeat the message, and point in a direction. Is it the right direction? I don’t know, but let’s check it out together.


Published by Snowy Owl

There was a lot more written here before. Then I saw it was irrelevant. I am just another person with an autoimmune disease and spectrum ”disorder” who is highly sensitive to their environment. I thought I would write a few things down, so here you go. Swim at your own risk!

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