I spend a lot of time observing the world around me. For me that involves watching it through different eyes at different times, but at the same time simultaneously. I haven’t been successful on explaining what I do. In neopaganism, people tend to think because they beat on a drum and do yoga , and enjoy being outside, they are shaman. It’s a vague term used far too frequently for the wrong reason. Some would say I’m a medium, and they’re not wrong, but not completely correct either. So what is it hat a shaman does?
I never received formal training. You can’t learn to be a shaman, but you can learn some of their practices. I have always been an Empath. I would sense different energy. I would use it to communicate with plants and animals. Sometimes it caused problems because people who don’t understand empaths tend to think we’re just a bit strange anyway. I always found that animals and people came to me. I would always find injured or sick animals and either make them better, help them fix something, or sat with them while they would pass on. I never thought anything about it. I just did it. I would see things that were not there. I didn’t ignore them and that would get me in trouble sometimes. Parents would say I was acting out or being dramatic. My mother still says this. It’s ok to hear it now, because I understand that they don’t understand it. They never will. They’re not meant to. I never honed my skills as I was younger because I was trying to just be a kid. I never did it in my young adulthood, because I was trying too hard to be “normal”. It wasn’t until my first overdose that I realized, or questioned would better state it, I was seeing a lot more weird stuff. I would see doctors and they said there was nothing wrong. So why was my life all of a sudden like I was multiple lives in time?
When we die, our energy changes. Our life force transition from conscious life crossing over to the next form. What’s left of our energy turns our body to compost. We feed the earth and other living things. Our memories change to be interpreted by those we leave behind. They process those memories as they go through their grieving process. As a shaman we walk in both worlds. We see what is and what was. We can do this because we have crossed over ourselves. We left a part of ourselves there. We experience things on both sides of the veil. The scenery changes a lot but no matter the scenario, we are tethered to both sides. But when the spirit world calls me the scenery changes. Like seeing a movie or something. At first I didn’t understand what or why this was, but now I understand completely. We all create our afterlife. We choose our design. We manifest our beliefs. All of us do it whether it’s heaven, hell, Valhalla, Mars, whatever. Some of us realize this and begin to understand that we all have religion wrong. So many things are similar in religions. Scales, balance, good, evil, love, wrath, and creation of self image. Instead though of our physical appearance though we need to realize our potential to be godly. Our consciousness isn’t just something to separate us from the animals. We have created our world according to our design. We choose to be good or bad. We choose to build or destroy. We chose to love or hate. No imaginary dude or dude-ette is responsible for that. We are. We choose to act or not. We choose to speak or not. If we accept our responsibility for ourselves, things could change drastically. I can’t say if the world would be better or worse, because it is what it is. The difference is, now I understand that myself. As I said, I can only control how I respond, or react. I can’t change others. I can hope to enlighten, but they chose to be enlightened or not. With the explanation that we ourselves control our reality, this is why the scenery changes. If I am being sent or called somewhere, then I am entering that beings created space. I experience a feeling or a sense of some sort. It’s different than mine. I learn what I can, and then when I return to this consciousness, I can interpret that to the best of my ability. I only know what is shown. I never have all the answers, but sometimes I’m lucky enough to get enough for others to get a sense of direction.
Am I a healer? Yes and no. I am a healer in the sense that I point you into a direction for you to heal yourself. I can set your mind at ease so you can put energy where you need it. I’m not a doctor. I can’t mend your body, but maybe I can help you find your inner strength. A lot of times you may hear the terms soul loss, or soul retrieval. We are beings of energy. Einstein said that energy can not be created or destroyed, but only can be transformed. When you drop a glass it breaks and shatters. The glass had a major traumatic experience. The same thing goes for us. When we experience trauma, it on e metaphysical level, cause our energy to shatter. We leave pieces of our soul everywhere. Empathy pick up on echoes or energy left behind all the time. What I do is help you go back to where you lost it. I help you find it. This helps you feel better. Healing is to make whole again. You won’t be the same, but you are wiser for it.
Now something else I try to explain to people is when we act “not ourselves” or possessed. There is possession, but in my case it’s just a tool for learning. This we need to think of as a medium. We allow a spirit, or energy to enter us. Most times it’s to learn something. Sometimes it’s to try to heal something or someone. Sometimes it’s just to throw rocks at the fire. It doesn’t mean we need an exorcism, but that it’s easier for that spirit to communicate themselves. Basically I’m a spirit taxi. I give it a ride to the party and back home. This doesn’t mean I can up and call out to the dead like a physic, because I’m not the ghost world yellow pages. Sometimes though it means I may pick up an affectation though. A gesture, a thought, often an accent. Generally though, I have not had any experiences with a possession that has left me stuck. I’ve had some say that I shouldn’t hold on to that energy, but what they don’t understand is that it is holding on to me. There are lots of times where I have had a possession hold me for a while. Usually this causes holes in my memory. I don’t remember things usually. It’s like sleepwalking. My consciousness is elsewhere while the guest is “borrowing the car.”
I do have clairvoyant abilities, but again it’s not me, but the energy being shared. Most of it comes in dreams. I have to spend a lot of time processing though. Too often I have dreams and I really need to interpret them. Some are a straight forward picture. Most are a metaphor. This being said, I can not predict winning lotto numbers or anything. All I do again is observe and report.
All of the things I do, I do as I was born to. Recently I found out the biggest teacher I had was dead before I was born. I try to learn a little from everyone though. You may not realize something at that time, but you’ll be surprised later when you see how you learned it. I would have a tendency to get cocky for a long time. I would say “I don’t know everything, but I’m always right!” What people hatred was that it was true. The problem I had was I would try to use it to my advantage, but when I do that I tend to misinterpret and then things go bad. So now I just talk of what I know.
So now that I’ve tried to explain what I do, I hope it’s helped you understand a little too. You can try to understand, or learn techniques, but a true “shaman” is born to it, and not sworn to it. We share what we learn, and try our best to get something right. I hope this explains the difference between learning shamanic technique and being an actual shaman. Don’t underestimate a well practiced practitioner because they spent a lot of time learning their craft, but a true shaman is like finding a natural