Shadows on the kingdom

Last night again I traveled to my home which I now think is my hall where I will go when I die. I saw many family there. there’s a great lake outside. pools in the hall as well as on the property. hot tubs, fountains, grand kitchens to prepare meals for large amounts of people. large rooms. in there a saw not only my one daughterbut her ex-boyfriend. He kept trying to win her back, but he had not changed. He was still possessive and insecure. Always blaming everyone else for why things don’t work out.

I saw another young woman with my daughter. Playing in the water, but trying not to be seen by this boy. There’s a female doctor in the hall who keeps trying to find a place to settle. A named Cody trying to run on the rocks along the edge of the waterfront, but the rocks fall and sink into the water with each step. He barely makes it to safety, but when he does, he disappears. Gone from the place completely. I hear the girls chanting “go Cody. Go Cody”

I wake up. Now unsettled. I pray to Freyja that she can tell me these are just my fears manifested in my sub conscious, and not showing me the horrible nightmare I fear to become reality.

Becoming

25 years ago at a lake I nearly drowned. I can still feel the water burning sensation on the back of my nasal cavity. I smell the algae that was blooming on the lake. I hear the music playing from the portable radio on shore. I was trying to get a stone I saw shimmering about ten foot below me. It got lost though as someone tried to be funny and yanked my foot up towards the surface while I was going down. The sudden change in direction surged water in my nose. I swam to the surface as quick as I could, but water had already got into my lungs. Friends laughed thinking they scared me, but I was too busy coughing up water that got to my lungs.

I went to shore as fast as I could and spent about 15 minutes on my hands and knees coughing trying to clear my lungs. While I was doing that I noticed the light changed around me as well as the sounds. The laughing faded off to a distance, and up front was familiar sound of a raven calling. For a brief moment I thought that it was an odd phenomenon. Finally the friend who grabbed my foot realized I was in a rough spot and came up to check on me. “You ok? I didn’t mean to startle ya. Do you need anything?” I I shook my head and waved my hand signaling I would be fine. I started to breathe easier and I explained what happened. He felt bad, but we really laughed about it in the end.

A short while later I got one of my migraines. It was a bag one considering on top of it I was having an allergic reaction to some of the algae that was still in my nasal cavity. My eyes were red and swollen. My lungs still hurt from all the coughing. We had no air conditioning and it was very humid in our area. I took some Benadryl as well as some Tylenol and tried to lay down. It took a while to fall asleep, but I still remember the dream.

I was with a small clan of people. We were preparing for winter. Getting the last of the dimmer crops in and storing feed for the livestock. There was a fear of raiders coming. For d sad one reason our elders were talking of a band of men coming to raid our lands. Something to do with the visions of one of the elder women. they decided we needed a sentinel to protect the village. I was pulled into one of the homes and asked if I would stand watch. I was told it was a great honor. I agreed and was given a drink. I assumed it was a celebratory ale, but it tasted bitter and sweet all at once. I coughed and started to burn a bit. The air went icy around me as a sudden fever took me. Suddenly I was high in the sky, soaring over the land. I could see clear in the dark. I realized I had become a bird. This was the first time I remember becoming the snowy owl. I landed in a tree looking out over the moonlit fields. As the sun came up I became restless and suddenly I was back in my bed. Back in my own home. Back to human form. Then I woke up from the dream. Still listening to the birds outside my tent. The sun was coming up and I stepped out to the dew covered grass. I took a breath and thought how odd the dream was. Then a mourning dove flew from the ground to a tree branch overhead. I knew I felt different again. Like something else was awake inside of me. I felt renewed and more connected.

I’m sure that was when I became Snowy Owl.

S.O.

Sandbags and pitchforks

I spend a lot of time on my own. I don’t like to spend a lot of time with people. They are fragile, in a sense that they can’t understand the quantum realities that I tend to see and travel through. I don’t turn it off or on. I am always in that state. I just have to spend more energy to focus on one. Lately I notice that there are more people missing those who have left. They miss their old life and the ability to have connection. It causes them to feel unwell, or unbalanced. This is a natural phenomenon that happens with seclusion. Here in America, it’s amplified by different forms of media. Fear, hate, conspiracy, are spread like a wildfire in a dry prairie during a windstorm. People get misinformation, half truths, and third hand facts. It’s an election year, and like never before, people question the strength of their voice. They try to make things better with big broad stroke decisions. Nobody takes the time to pay attention to details. No one pays attention to body language or habitual behavior. Everyone starts calling names and throwing stones. Everyone ends up losing regardless of who tries to claim victory.

I recently decided to step away from all the chaos. I’ve been spending my time listening to what’s being said in the other realms. Watching the tales unfold, i try to see the patterns. Lately it seems inevitable that there are much darker days ahead. Instead of focusing on all light all the time, I start looking in the shadows. In the dark corners to see what’s coming. In preparation I start building my “Arsenal” of tools. Consulting the ancestors as well as the gods. Odin appears frequently to keep me on track. The Instagram witches, DIY yogis, and ramen shamans seem to focus still on the self help shinola. This will not help for what is to come. People need to wake up from the convenience lifestyle and focus on fundamental survival. We have gotten so far from nature that we forget that we as humans are ourselves just animals. We need food, shelter, safety, and a pack. Rather than being cattle here to feed the power hungry, be the wild animal. Be the hunter that works in its microsystem to keep it healthy and prosperous. Worrying about other Tribes in far off lands, focus where you can help. Work with your neighbors to create a symbiotic relationship. Maybe you only garden and grow fruits and vegetables, but your neighbor hunts, or raises livestock. Work together to fill the needs. If your unable to build a fence enlist those who can, and provide something to them in return. It’s simple things that everyone thinks they do already, but instead they do everything through amazon and Walmart. Again feeding the rich and powerful, keeping themselves under the oppressive weight of the corporate machine.

Take some time to look around your front door. What will truly improve things? Is it another video game or smart device? I doubt that will improve anything other than your own sense of convenience. Thin the overgrowth that’s suffocating the area. Feed and nourish the gardens. Feed the birds and bees to help pollination. Pick up the garbage around the road by your home. Bolster up fences. Plant trees to provide shelter and help with erosion. Help your neighbor clear the gutters so they don’t have to worry about water damage to their roof prematurely. Recycle, reuse items that take up space in landfills. Don’t worry about going to another country to aid their efforts. Focus on your own back yard.

make sure you are able to keep yourself and your loved ones safe from the coming storm. Stop being lazy. You’re only as safe as long as you can run, swim, or fight. No matter what you do to be aware and prepared, do it with an open mind and open heart. The us versus them mentality doesn’t help anyone. We are all the same. We are all on this rock, and being ignorant to that does nothing to help you improve anything for your future.

just so you know this isn’t a “love and light” post. It’s a slap in the back of the head wake up call. It’s not a matter of if shit hits the fan, but when. The world is full of ignorance and hatred. People who think it’s such a great thing to laugh at people losing their shit. People who troll and bully everyone online, because it makes them feel in control or secure. Fear is used by a tool of those who are weak and have no true power of their own. They are only powerful if you give them your power. The Christian fear mongers can’t have it both ways. They can’t say we’re all gods creatures and turn around to condemn mass groups who don’t fall in line with their thinking. They can’t be pro life but then disregard scientific proven facts of how they are spreading diseases by not following safety protocols. I know damn well they are not going to help heal anything. They breed like mice. They overpopulate and devastate resources exponentially. I am not inciting any wars, but I will not back down. I am after all from a Norse-Celtic heritage and battle is in my blood. If I go down, I will take a piece of you with me. I am telling everyone to realize that things are at high pressure, and if we don’t tend to the problems now then the levee will break. We can not continue this unbalanced lifestyle. Let’s prevent the train wreck instead of just watching it and sharing it on social media.

S.O.

Planting plastic trees

Money and convenience have taken over even the most conscious of individuals. You can’t fight for the earth while driving your gas car, with plastic parts, drinking your iced coffee that’s been transported in large trucks and ships to be served in plastic cups. But you bought a hemp shirt to wear at the protest that was shipped in a large container ship, that was further dispersed by large trucks to Walmart’s around the continent.

Real change requires real effort. True results comes from true sacrifice. However, we live in a hypocritical world. We expect to change the world without changing our convenience. It’s hard to realize how dependent everyone has become on things that are truly destroying the planet.

Plastic bible and polyester suits spread the word to tell you to reproduce. Too many people to live in harmony with each other, let alone the planet. Unless you grow your own plants to make your own good and clothes, you are reliant on petroleum. Unless you walk everywhere barefoot or with shoes made from material you hunted or grew, you are reliant on oil. Unless you’re living in the woods owning nothing and living solely off the land with tools you harvested and created from the land, you are a polluter.

I accept this about myself. I can try to make changes, but unless I become a homeless person who goes only with harvested material I took from local land, I’m still a part of the problem. This makes me feel ashamed, but not ashamed enough to walk naked, away from everything. So why do I expect anything to realistically change to heal the earth? I don’t. Everyone thinks that they can recycle their kombucha bottles and newspapers and fix the world, but at best it’s a bandaid on a severed head. It’s beyond fixing. The only fix is the sudden return to all local, all natural, way of life after 75-80% of the population disappear.

This is not me saying we stop trying to change. This is not me suggesting total annihilation of the human race. This is me saying we have to do better now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now.

The earth cries and I feel her pain. I feel it every time I see a bird picking up fast food scraps out of the trash on the side of the road, or drinking water out of a puddle filled with oily toxic crap. Hell I feel it every time I throw out my expired batteries and milk jugs.

I have to do better.

How to sound like you know something about nothing.

There seems to be a lot of anxiety and toxic feelings around. It seems to be coming from self doubt and separation from our “normal” activities and our isolation. As someone who thrives in self isolation I understand the difference of anxiety caused by withdrawal and self imposed separation, and what is anxiety from outside and forced separation by others. The best way to deal with these anxieties, is to first determine the truth. If you feel you’re being cut out by others, ask them. Social distancing is not social disconnection. Stay in contact with your people. We live in a society where it’s fairly easy to connect and communicate with those who are physically distanced. Video and phone calls are easy. A text can bring a connection. Check in with your friends and family. This can greatly reduce the anxiety or fear of forced disconnect. After determining it’s not coming from an outside source, you can start taking actions to reduce your self doubt, and self imposed anxiety. Keeping busy is a good thing, but ignoring issues doesn’t help. Start by discovering what your anxious about? Is it money, health, etcetera? Take time to tell yourself that you are worth your own love and respect. Self affirmation is a good tool and starting point. Self care is a must. Take time to put yourself together for the day. Getting cleaned and dressed is a daily ritual that we don’t give enough of a consideration as self care. It’s a ritualistic action that helps us feel like we are still in a routine.

You may have taken the first few days or so to catch up on some shows or movies you wanted to watch, but never had the time. Now though you feel stuck again. You can’t watch anymore and need to feel productive. Well try starting something you always wanted to do, but treat it like you would a new job. Do your preparation routine as I previously talked about. It will create a sense that you did something more than sitting around just killing time. Nothing will be a bigger poison to your heart like telling yourself it’s a pointless venture, or that it’s just passing time. Give it the effort and respect it deserves. Besides it is something you decided to do, so then you’re essentially telling yourself your ideas aren’t worth your time.

F-words

I knew years ago that I had a limited shelf life. Lets just say it was inherent knowledge. My mom would always freak out and say “don’t say that, Your uncle Lorne said that…” Well of course. Some of us just know. its like we read the best by date on our carton. There is always stuff you just “know” for one reason or another. So fighting to change things can only buy you so much time before you reach your expiry date. Now instead of running from the fate I accept it. I revel in it and try to explore all of the things I was so afraid to think about. IT has made me very tired lately. I’ve got more spirit activity as well as the Norn chattering away in the next room. I want to yell at them to keep it down because I cant hear my show. Like a bunch of gossipy old hens at bingo night.

Don’t get me wrong, it sucks to have death lingering around waiting to take you back after the party. Trying to lose it so you can stay longer just makes you miss out on what you should be enjoying. Who knows when or how exactly, but if you worry about it for the remainder of time you have, you just wasted a lot of time. The best thing i heard that resonates with me is a line in one of my favourite movies: The 13th Warrior. (Herger the Joyous): “The All-Father wove the skein of your life a long time ago. Go and hide in a hole if you wish, but you won’t live one instant longer. Your fate is fixed. Fear profits a man nothing.”

I spend more and more time in the veil lately. I know that sounds like a foolish thing to do, but since I’m here why not explore it? why not listen to everything? understand it more. Maybe share some of what I know. I mean I am so tired of being so critical about fake healers and their instagram life. people looking for attention etcetera. The ting is, I’m just being miserable and critical because I’m the one sitting in the dark dwelling on the shit in my mind. Why should I be the one to spit on their happiness. They got it half right anyway. Of course they’re just trying to do something that makes them happy. What gives me the right to piss on their happiness? I should instead embrace the gift I have been given and share it with the world.

first things first. Religion is wrong. Its devicive and too many rely on it for help when its just a tool for insecure people to use to hold on to the little power they feel they have. Religion was written by men. Men are feeble and weak. They are driven by ego and fear. None of it is written by “gods.” God didn’t pick up a typewriter and start clacking away, unless you watched the show supernatural. then that quite literally had him doing that. Instead the ones who have a better grasp on the bigger picture are those who instead are spiritual. They understand that we are all connected. Not just to each other, but to everything. Think of it in a scientific sense. Quantum theory, a theory in physics based on the principle that matter and energy behave both as particles and as waves. This means that everything that is or ever was, is still connected to ourselves. In this we have great power and potential. Holding on to the antiquated ideas of religion or gods holds us back from that potential. Think about what we could do when we learn to break the barriers of the self imposed regulators we call politics and religion. These are things that are there strictly to keep people from discovering their ability to evolve.

I never thought I would be the type to go crazy about spirituality and evolution, but here I am getting information all the time. I’m sure my words will be dismissed as a behavioral disorder or early onset dementia, but this is what I know is truth. The truth is I see and hear things, but I am not schizophrenic. I have talked with spirits all my life. Talking to the shapes and patterns I would see in things. When I would talk about it, I would be told I’m being dramatic or just letting my imagination get the better of me. The thing is, I was always right. So what does it mean that I spent so much time being told I was wrong when in fact I was right? NOTHING! It means again we accept what we are told by those who assume authority over things they know nothing about. Now I am not saying that there is no mental illness that needs to be addressed. The last thing I want is someone who definitely has their wires crossed taking my words as an excuse to do terrible things. I am saying that if we accept accountability for our actions and live by a basic rule of “do as you will but harm none”, then we can drastically change this reality. We can learn to self heal. We can learn to grow a future that is harmonious and fruitful. There are so many thoughts, ideas, theories out there that talk about this. What is stopping us from that ascension into a higher state of being? A lot of this is due to the programming we receive from birth. The antiquated teachings of limitations and wrathful deities. I talk to many of these gods, and let me tell you that they are not what we think.

For so long, people have seen higher beings in many shapes and forms. They come across with a message of a higher frequency, but when they appear to us they need form in order for our brains to perceive them. So many of these visions come from a state of subconscious elevation or trancelike states. A lot of time the form takes shape of something we associate as a “godly” image. like an elephant, or a stag. Something mysterious and not quite human. Angels and demons are all figures of our brains trying to put a physical form to an ascended being. our brains cant comprehend something as a being without seeing a physical form. I have no doubt god spoke to Moses in a burning bush. I receive a lot of my messages at my fires. There are numerous stories of immortals communicating with mortals, but they are all as uniquely different as those who experienced it. In truth we are the ones talking. Our subconscious is connected to our own higher being or god. It communicates to us all the time while we are awake even. We refer to the gut instinct or unshakable feeling of just knowing. We tell people to “listen to your gut.” We tell them to meditate on things. These are all things every human has done in their life. We all have experienced it in someway or another. why is it that we spend so much time fighting then over stuff. We fight over who is right or wrong. we fight over possessions. none of this stuff matters in the grand scale of things. we fight over the dumbest things and use our ignorance of its importance as an excuse to do terrible things.

We are mortal and immortal alike. we are all carbon based in our physical form, but our “soul” or “spirit” are immortal. it carries on after our bodies deteriorate. Again physics says energy can not be created or destroyed. it just changes from one form to another. our body breaks down and feeds the other life forms. we return to dust. our words get echoed on books and memories of others. Our image gets imprinted on the eyes and minds of others. we leave pieces of ourselves everywhere. I mean dust is literally dead skin that falls from us and gathers with other debris floating about in the air. do i have some great story to leave behind? Maybe, but who is the story for? Is it something I just tell myself to give a sense of being? is it something small and irrelevant, or is it something that is lifechanging? I would never assume to hold that much power, but do I? Am I only hindering myself by planting that seed of self doubt. There are always questions. There is always doubt in that lower frequency of thought. That fear and doubt is what kept the species going. We get hurt by something, it is an unpleasant feeling that tells us not to do that again, but if you look at people who tend to be masochistic, they feel that self flagellation elevates our consciousness to a higher state of being. Mind over matter.

There are so many stories out there that we call science fiction. these stories hold a scientific reality into a story that hasn’t happened. one of these movies recently was called Lucy. Scarlet Johansson plays a woman named Lucy who gets into a shitty situation and in this, she gets exposed to a growth hormone. this causes her body to start making connections that exponentially grow. Once she gets past the fear she no longer needs to understand, she takes the time she has to right wrongs and teach those who want to know. in this story the idea of time travel, telekinesis, mind reading, total memory recall, physical evolution, etcetera are all touched on. Another movie called Phenomenon has John Travolta playing someone who can all of a sudden do tremendous things because his mind made new connections via a brain tumor. There are comics like X-men that create fantastic stories based off of the idea that an evolutionary trait will make the next phase of mortals into very powerful beings with special abilities. Yes these are very fantastical stories inspired by great imaginations, but who are we to say they are wrong? These have proven basis in science. Science is not emotional, but instead a systematic process to determine a behavior. ITs a way to prove or disprove an hypothesis.

So what does this mean for this post? Nothing and everything. We need to understand faith comes from a belief we know to be true. Each person is a unique individual with their own beliefs. So why is it that we can all experience the same thing but fight over the differences. We’re all right in our own way, so we need to stop fighting over the differences and instead build on the common thread. All ships rise and fall with the tide. So why fight over sea elevation? Jump in and enjoy the swim. I am spending my time just trying to be present. I share what I can when I can. I know that money and stuff does not make me happy. I am happy sharing experiences with those I love. I am happy watching a beautiful sunrise or sunset. the sound of life all around me. I love that I get visits in my mind from my ancestors and loved ones. Last night My Step sister who I love deeply and lost from this life years ago came to tell me she was getting the place ready for me. Well that sounds scary because she’s dead, but I would love to see her once again. I know I was born twice into this life. 2 souls one body. I took picture my mother had of me as a child and even wrote a different name on the back of them. I didn’t recall writing it, but it was my handwriting. I physically died a few times even just momentarily but i crossed the threshold. My grandparents have been visiting in my dreams. I should be scared because historically these are signs of a mental deterioration that happens onset of a disease that will result in death, but I’m not scared. I am though feeling the need to write it all down while I can. I am sharing everything I can, in hopes to enlighten even one person who also experiences these things.

I never was truly understood. overactive imagination I guess. Either way to take a line from the 11th Doctor talking to young Amelia Pond “we’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, Eh!”

~S.O.~

Duality

Ignorance and opinion

At what point do you stop saying anything? When do you realize your thought, hopes, feelings, etcetera, only matter to yourself? We live in a world of peer pressure. Others dictate what’s right or wrong. The rich and powerful are at the top while the rest of the world wades deep in their waste. Our opinions are never heard to completion because everyone else has an opinion on your opinion. The ones who know this prison and seek to be truly free, are labeled as terrorists, because they are able to see through the current lie of freedom. Freedom is the crumbs they throw you to appease your hungry bellies. Your money is not your money. It’s taxed on top of more tax. Your words carry no value to anyone else, because the only words they value are their own. You only know what you’ve been taught, and now you find it’s all wrong. There is nothing you can do but suffer. Smile and nod. Just blend in. Maybe they won’t see your no longer happy and just want it to be gone. If change was possible, it only comes from the ones with the means to change it. That means everyone doing the same thing, but that’s a communist idea. Communism is what everyone else wants, but they don’t realize it. Communism never works. Democracy might as well be Santa Claus, because it’s too easily manipulated to truly serve the masses so democracy is a lie. In the end, we are just animals who value shiny things and horde them. We parade around like we’re better than animals because we have a soul, but so does a rock. It has memory and carries a story. If you don’t believe it, look it a graveyard. Walk through a canyon and see how the land was formed by the sands and waters of time. We are animals with the power of imagination. Imagination is why we are no longer in caves, because people had ideas. So when did we let others control us? That is not freedom. Freedom never attainable because there is always something that will stop you. So if we accept that, why can’t we accept other reasoning? Why don’t we accept that we are but cogs in a machine? We make changes, and 100 years from now changes again. This is how we survive. We are taught to be good workers and do what’s best for the colony. There will always be greed. There will always be fear. There will always be a change needed. This continues forever. It’s growth. It’s evolution. We evolve into better workers.

In the matrix Morpheus gives the pill speech to Neo: “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I’m offering is the truth, nothing more.”

This always is the turning point you face. You are always forced to make a decision. Not making a decision is still a decision. A failure to act is an act in itself. So when you’re faced with the decision, how will you decide? What will you do? How does your story end? Don’t think too long on that quest because while we’re all bitching, pissing, and moaning about shit, your life is passing you by. Nobody is right or wrong, just different. While we are all different, we are all the same. This is why we’re always fighting. We’re fighting for identity. We’re fighting to be heard. We are fighting for change. We are all on this rock together, but we are not all equal. There will always be the fortunate ones. There will always someone willing to do more. You can’t rely on them, because they’re looking out for themselves. You have to put in the work. Change doesn’t come because you closed your eyes and wished real hard blowing out the candles. Change comes from blood, sweat, and tears. Change comes on the backs of those greater than you. Remember that the next time you scold an older person for calling you a gender specific pronoun or a man for showing chivalry. Remember that everyone is racist no matter the skin colour. Remember that everyone was born female or male but for a short period of time we were neither. Remember your a useless shite who feels the world owes you something. The thing is nobody owes you shit. You want something, then do the work. Some of us put in the work and still don’t have shit. Not to mention we broke ourselves working for it and can’t work as we used to. You’re alive. Be thankful. You obviously have some sort of technology, because you’re reading this. Some people don’t have a pot to piss in. Stop demanding change if you’re unwilling to do it yourself. You already have more than many others.

This is probably some of the harshest shit I say anymore. I try to change, but like many others it takes time and work. So if I have offended you, great. If not, great. Either way I said my piece. I was heard. Whether I’m understood remains to be seen. For now I focus on my happiness. I’m not here to make you better. That’s your work. I’m too busy trying to stand on my own two feet. When you get it figured out, I truly hope it makes you happy. In the end it’s all that matters.

Ignorance and opinion

At what point do you stop saying anything? When do you realize your thought, hopes, feelings, etcetera, only matter to yourself? We live in a world of peer pressure. Others dictate what’s right or wrong. The rich and powerful are at the top while the rest of the world wades deep in their waste. Our opinions are never heard to completion because everyone else has an opinion on your opinion. The ones who know this prison and seek to be truly free, are labeled as terrorists, because they are able to see through the current lie of freedom. Freedom is the crumbs they throw you to appease your hungry bellies. Your money is not your money. It’s taxed on top of more tax. Your words carry no value to anyone else, because the only words they value are their own. You only know what you’ve been taught, and now you find it’s all wrong. There is nothing you can do but suffer. Smile and nod. Just blend in. Maybe they won’t see your no longer happy and just want it to be gone. If change was possible, it only comes from the ones with the means to change it. That means everyone doing the same thing, but that’s a communist idea. Communism is what everyone else wants, but they don’t realize it. Communism never works. Democracy might as well be Santa Claus, because it’s too easily manipulated to truly serve the masses so democracy is a lie. In the end, we are just animals who value shiny things and horde them. We parade around like we’re better than animals because we have a soul, but so does a rock. It has memory and carries a story. If you don’t believe it, look it a graveyard. Walk through a canyon and see how the land was formed by the sands and waters of time. We are animals with the power of imagination. Imagination is why we are no longer in caves, because people had ideas. So when did we let others control us? That is not freedom. Freedom never attainable because there is always something that will stop you. So if we accept that, why can’t we accept other reasoning? Why don’t we accept that we are but cogs in a machine? We make changes, and 100 years from now changes again. This is how we survive. We are taught to be good workers and do what’s best for the colony. There will always be greed. There will always be fear. There will always be a change needed. This continues forever. It’s growth. It’s evolution. We evolve into better workers.

In the matrix Morpheus gives the pill speech to Neo: “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I’m offering is the truth, nothing more.”

This always is the turning point you face. You are always forced to make a decision. Not making a decision is still a decision. A failure to act is an act in itself. So when you’re faced with the decision, how will you decide? What will you do? How does your story end? Don’t think too long on that quest because while we’re all bitching, pissing, and moaning about shit, your life is passing you by. Nobody is right or wrong, just different. While we are all different, we are all the same. This is why we’re always fighting. We’re fighting for identity. We’re fighting to be heard. We are fighting for change. We are all on this rock together, but we are not all equal. There will always be the fortunate ones. There will always someone willing to do more. You can’t rely on them, because they’re looking out for themselves. You have to put in the work. Change doesn’t come because you closed your eyes and wished real hard blowing out the candles. Change comes from blood, sweat, and tears. Change comes on the backs of those greater than you. Remember that the next time you scold an older person for calling you a gender specific pronoun or a man for showing chivalry. Remember that everyone is racist no matter the skin colour. Remember that everyone was born female or male but for a short period of time we were neither. Remember your a useless shite who feels the world owes you something. The thing is nobody owes you shit. You want something, then do the work. Some of us put in the work and still don’t have shit. Not to mention we broke ourselves working for it and can’t work as we used to. You’re alive. Be thankful. You obviously have some sort of technology, because you’re reading this. Some people don’t have a pot to piss in. Stop demanding change if you’re unwilling to do it yourself. You already have more than many others.

This is probably some of the harshest shit I say anymore. I try to change, but like many others it takes time and work. So if I have offended you, great. If not, great. Either way I said my piece. I was heard. Whether I’m understood remains to be seen. For now I focus on my happiness. I’m not here to make you better. That’s your work. I’m too busy trying to stand on my own two feet. When you get it figured out, I truly hope it makes you happy. In the end? That’s all that matters.