I knew years ago that I had a limited shelf life. Lets just say it was inherent knowledge. My mom would always freak out and say “don’t say that, Your uncle Lorne said that…” Well of course. Some of us just know. its like we read the best by date on our carton. There is always stuff you just “know” for one reason or another. So fighting to change things can only buy you so much time before you reach your expiry date. Now instead of running from the fate I accept it. I revel in it and try to explore all of the things I was so afraid to think about. IT has made me very tired lately. I’ve got more spirit activity as well as the Norn chattering away in the next room. I want to yell at them to keep it down because I cant hear my show. Like a bunch of gossipy old hens at bingo night.

Don’t get me wrong, it sucks to have death lingering around waiting to take you back after the party. Trying to lose it so you can stay longer just makes you miss out on what you should be enjoying. Who knows when or how exactly, but if you worry about it for the remainder of time you have, you just wasted a lot of time. The best thing i heard that resonates with me is a line in one of my favourite movies: The 13th Warrior. (Herger the Joyous): “The All-Father wove the skein of your life a long time ago. Go and hide in a hole if you wish, but you won’t live one instant longer. Your fate is fixed. Fear profits a man nothing.”

I spend more and more time in the veil lately. I know that sounds like a foolish thing to do, but since I’m here why not explore it? why not listen to everything? understand it more. Maybe share some of what I know. I mean I am so tired of being so critical about fake healers and their instagram life. people looking for attention etcetera. The ting is, I’m just being miserable and critical because I’m the one sitting in the dark dwelling on the shit in my mind. Why should I be the one to spit on their happiness. They got it half right anyway. Of course they’re just trying to do something that makes them happy. What gives me the right to piss on their happiness? I should instead embrace the gift I have been given and share it with the world.

first things first. Religion is wrong. Its devicive and too many rely on it for help when its just a tool for insecure people to use to hold on to the little power they feel they have. Religion was written by men. Men are feeble and weak. They are driven by ego and fear. None of it is written by “gods.” God didn’t pick up a typewriter and start clacking away, unless you watched the show supernatural. then that quite literally had him doing that. Instead the ones who have a better grasp on the bigger picture are those who instead are spiritual. They understand that we are all connected. Not just to each other, but to everything. Think of it in a scientific sense. Quantum theory, a theory in physics based on the principle that matter and energy behave both as particles and as waves. This means that everything that is or ever was, is still connected to ourselves. In this we have great power and potential. Holding on to the antiquated ideas of religion or gods holds us back from that potential. Think about what we could do when we learn to break the barriers of the self imposed regulators we call politics and religion. These are things that are there strictly to keep people from discovering their ability to evolve.

I never thought I would be the type to go crazy about spirituality and evolution, but here I am getting information all the time. I’m sure my words will be dismissed as a behavioral disorder or early onset dementia, but this is what I know is truth. The truth is I see and hear things, but I am not schizophrenic. I have talked with spirits all my life. Talking to the shapes and patterns I would see in things. When I would talk about it, I would be told I’m being dramatic or just letting my imagination get the better of me. The thing is, I was always right. So what does it mean that I spent so much time being told I was wrong when in fact I was right? NOTHING! It means again we accept what we are told by those who assume authority over things they know nothing about. Now I am not saying that there is no mental illness that needs to be addressed. The last thing I want is someone who definitely has their wires crossed taking my words as an excuse to do terrible things. I am saying that if we accept accountability for our actions and live by a basic rule of “do as you will but harm none”, then we can drastically change this reality. We can learn to self heal. We can learn to grow a future that is harmonious and fruitful. There are so many thoughts, ideas, theories out there that talk about this. What is stopping us from that ascension into a higher state of being? A lot of this is due to the programming we receive from birth. The antiquated teachings of limitations and wrathful deities. I talk to many of these gods, and let me tell you that they are not what we think.

For so long, people have seen higher beings in many shapes and forms. They come across with a message of a higher frequency, but when they appear to us they need form in order for our brains to perceive them. So many of these visions come from a state of subconscious elevation or trancelike states. A lot of time the form takes shape of something we associate as a “godly” image. like an elephant, or a stag. Something mysterious and not quite human. Angels and demons are all figures of our brains trying to put a physical form to an ascended being. our brains cant comprehend something as a being without seeing a physical form. I have no doubt god spoke to Moses in a burning bush. I receive a lot of my messages at my fires. There are numerous stories of immortals communicating with mortals, but they are all as uniquely different as those who experienced it. In truth we are the ones talking. Our subconscious is connected to our own higher being or god. It communicates to us all the time while we are awake even. We refer to the gut instinct or unshakable feeling of just knowing. We tell people to “listen to your gut.” We tell them to meditate on things. These are all things every human has done in their life. We all have experienced it in someway or another. why is it that we spend so much time fighting then over stuff. We fight over who is right or wrong. we fight over possessions. none of this stuff matters in the grand scale of things. we fight over the dumbest things and use our ignorance of its importance as an excuse to do terrible things.

We are mortal and immortal alike. we are all carbon based in our physical form, but our “soul” or “spirit” are immortal. it carries on after our bodies deteriorate. Again physics says energy can not be created or destroyed. it just changes from one form to another. our body breaks down and feeds the other life forms. we return to dust. our words get echoed on books and memories of others. Our image gets imprinted on the eyes and minds of others. we leave pieces of ourselves everywhere. I mean dust is literally dead skin that falls from us and gathers with other debris floating about in the air. do i have some great story to leave behind? Maybe, but who is the story for? Is it something I just tell myself to give a sense of being? is it something small and irrelevant, or is it something that is lifechanging? I would never assume to hold that much power, but do I? Am I only hindering myself by planting that seed of self doubt. There are always questions. There is always doubt in that lower frequency of thought. That fear and doubt is what kept the species going. We get hurt by something, it is an unpleasant feeling that tells us not to do that again, but if you look at people who tend to be masochistic, they feel that self flagellation elevates our consciousness to a higher state of being. Mind over matter.

There are so many stories out there that we call science fiction. these stories hold a scientific reality into a story that hasn’t happened. one of these movies recently was called Lucy. Scarlet Johansson plays a woman named Lucy who gets into a shitty situation and in this, she gets exposed to a growth hormone. this causes her body to start making connections that exponentially grow. Once she gets past the fear she no longer needs to understand, she takes the time she has to right wrongs and teach those who want to know. in this story the idea of time travel, telekinesis, mind reading, total memory recall, physical evolution, etcetera are all touched on. Another movie called Phenomenon has John Travolta playing someone who can all of a sudden do tremendous things because his mind made new connections via a brain tumor. There are comics like X-men that create fantastic stories based off of the idea that an evolutionary trait will make the next phase of mortals into very powerful beings with special abilities. Yes these are very fantastical stories inspired by great imaginations, but who are we to say they are wrong? These have proven basis in science. Science is not emotional, but instead a systematic process to determine a behavior. ITs a way to prove or disprove an hypothesis.

So what does this mean for this post? Nothing and everything. We need to understand faith comes from a belief we know to be true. Each person is a unique individual with their own beliefs. So why is it that we can all experience the same thing but fight over the differences. We’re all right in our own way, so we need to stop fighting over the differences and instead build on the common thread. All ships rise and fall with the tide. So why fight over sea elevation? Jump in and enjoy the swim. I am spending my time just trying to be present. I share what I can when I can. I know that money and stuff does not make me happy. I am happy sharing experiences with those I love. I am happy watching a beautiful sunrise or sunset. the sound of life all around me. I love that I get visits in my mind from my ancestors and loved ones. Last night My Step sister who I love deeply and lost from this life years ago came to tell me she was getting the place ready for me. Well that sounds scary because she’s dead, but I would love to see her once again. I know I was born twice into this life. 2 souls one body. I took picture my mother had of me as a child and even wrote a different name on the back of them. I didn’t recall writing it, but it was my handwriting. I physically died a few times even just momentarily but i crossed the threshold. My grandparents have been visiting in my dreams. I should be scared because historically these are signs of a mental deterioration that happens onset of a disease that will result in death, but I’m not scared. I am though feeling the need to write it all down while I can. I am sharing everything I can, in hopes to enlighten even one person who also experiences these things.

I never was truly understood. overactive imagination I guess. Either way to take a line from the 11th Doctor talking to young Amelia Pond “we’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, Eh!”



Published by Snowy Owl

There was a lot more written here before. Then I saw it was irrelevant. I am just another person with an autoimmune disease and spectrum ”disorder” who is highly sensitive to their environment. I thought I would write a few things down, so here you go. Swim at your own risk!

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