Snowy Owls House

Like a perennial flower each spring I get a blast from the past. The sun returning in its strength, my body prepares for the death of the year when the sun travels further away in the fall. Like the trees grow strong then later wither, so does my physical body. With the return of the sun and the building light energy, I get a visit from a past life. Of them all, each has a poignancy to the challenges to come for this year’s events. This year I went back to my time of Northern Africa and a time of many wars between neighbors and a sickness that took from all sides enough souls to devastate whole societies.

I was young in the village when I joined the hunting parties. Our people were going through a tough season. We had not seen rain in a while. Our crops were failing and we had to search for clean water sources, as well as increase the amount we had to hunt to feed the tribe. with water and food in high demand, many battles with other tribes over hunting grounds increased. I was hunting with one of the other men in the tribe. We were lucky and found a source of water but it was also found by another group. We got pinned behind a rock trying to avoid spears and rocks being thrown at us. The man I was hunting with became panicked and scared. He was shouting for them to stop. We would leave in peace. The other men would not stop and were vicious with their attacks. Being only about 12 years of age at the time, I was smaller than this other man who was maybe 18-20 he caved to his fear and grabbed me and threw me to the ground beside the rock and ran scared off to an area in some tall grass. As I tried to get back to my feet I was taken by the other hunters. They beat me furiously and yelling in their language that it was their spot and death would come to any who came upon it.

I was kicked and slapped senseless. I felt a sharp pain in my belly. I had been pierced by a spear and my stomach cut open. My insides falling to the ground. Then with a hatred and ferocity the biggest of the other hunters smashed my head with a large rock. I was killed and then placed on the rock we were hiding behind as a warning to any who came upon the area.

This memory teaches me that not always are we safe even with our own people. Fear and desperation are powerful motivators. In an instant people you know can use you to advance their own selfishness. Instead of being too scared to stand together to face our attackers or finding safety together, overcome your fears. Even if you fall, fall helping your people. Be more than yourself. Keep your eyes open for dangers out in the world, but don’t forget to watch for the poisonous snake in your own garden.

Support your neighbors, and remember that tides raise all ships equally.

~Snowy Owl

There’s always something that keeps us from doing what we want. I keep trying to sit and put a cohesive piece of literature together. It’s difficult with animals vying for your attention along with random spirit energies passing through. Add mundane life to that with kids, school, sports, jobs, boyfriends, girlfriends. Etc. it’s hard to form anything resembling a thought. Now let’s add health issues that have you in chronic pain and exhausted all the time. It’s a miracle one doesn’t collapse under the weight. My saving grace is my family. They know the obstacles and understand completely. They are amazing how they just figure out life’s little hurdles. It allows me to focus on the things they don’t see. Sometimes they will ask who the visit was, or what’s going on with the animals, but if there’s something they can do to help, they’re on top of it. Tonight I’m getting a lot of crazy things being told to me. How history is being rewritten and news altered. That it’s not just something on tv or a movie, but it’s happening right now in this world.

We all know the Bible was written by men in search of control through fear. It’s interpreted by men with their own agenda as well before sharing to the flock. The term that clearly tells you they think of you as sheep. But this isn’t me attacking religion tonight. Tonight I’m sharing a vision I had while I was fighting a spirit that had a hold of me and nearly dragged me down to deaths embrace. People are trying to create in real life, all the events in movies and video games that are saturated into society. Using religion as a spear to clear the path for any who oppose. Their true purpose lay in a pit of greed. They have no concern of the world after they leave it. Instead it’s just going to be another day another dollar. Women are trying to be heard, but are fighting the wrong battles. It’s not about gender. It’s about legal tender. Politics are becoming the new scud Missiles . Religion is the shield to hide behind. The poor pay the ultimate price, while the rich sacrifice pennies. Sick being denied a hope of a better day. No one will save you. You have to fend for yourself. Mother Earth is sick but we can’t help her. It will return to the beasts. Then in another time it all dies. Water gone. Air gone. Life gone. Is it too late? Probably! I will continue my mission, but I see the activists doing everything for the social media and not because it’s right or wrong, but because they want to be loved and look like a good person. Meanwhile wherein material formulated from petroleum products and refined plastics. No worries though as they’re wearing beads, stones and yoga pants, so they must be genuine!? The gods have spoken but nobody listens. Tonight I sleep, and tomorrow we say goodbye to the cybernet road.

It’s been a little crazy for me the past few months. I’ve been dealing with other people’s problems while trying to make progress with my own issues. I can’t stress enough how much one toxic person can make your life very difficult. Even though we sent them out of our home in September, we still had her in our lives daily. We were trying hard to keep her daughter safe, but now she’s back to that same environment and it’s no longer in our hands. I hold space for the child still but I no longer hold space for the adults in that relationship. I mean they’re 50 and 44. They should have grown up by now. I’ve asked the universe and the spirits to help guide the child through rough waters and comfort her when she’s weary. We have reclaimed our home and I will be doing a major cleansing this week to get the last of the bad energy out.

The holidays were very good. I got to share food, drink , and merriment with my community. I got to see my mother for the first time in 10 years. It was hard to have the visit, because we both have gotten older, and know the time together is more precious and few. While my mother is still the same battle axe she always was, I saw a new side of her. She got to spend time with our kids for the first time. She was sweet to them. She reminded she was a little reserved, but it was her first visit. It’s hard because our relationship has been strong, but tough as well. She, as most mothers, installed my triggers. There were only a few times though that those triggers were pulled in the visit, but I am a different person now. I recognize the queue, and take the time to not let it get me fired up. What I was unable to do was keep those triggers pulled by the unexpected people. I lost my cool in a Best Buy. I purchased a new blue tooth stereo for our oldest daughters car. It was to be installed by them as well. I showed up with receipt in hand and they refused to give me the merchandise. This was after I showed up to find the installer was half in the bag and the bay smelled like a brewery. The manager asked me to leave before he called the police. I told him to call the police. I had a receipt for goods purchased, and he wasn’t releasing said goods. I stormed back to the bay to find it locked. I knocked and no answer. I thought the installer was around the corner drinking more so I knocked harder on the door and broke the window. I couldn’t believe it. It was the reinforced glass that’s not supposed to break like that. The guy was in the bathroom and when I got inside I found he had already pulled the dash all apart. So now I’m just wanting to get out, but I have to wait for the guy to put it back together. I would not let him drive the car out of the bay because he had clearly been drinking. I left and was so out of sorts and worked up I spent a few days in bed from the stress. Now they want me to pay for the window and I still don’t have the stereo or installation I already paid for. So while I did very well keeping my cool while I was with mom, I had a very bad blow up in public.

The other stressor that came up is this ordeal in Iran. Our son is in the navy, and our president is starting wars. I don’t care what his supporters say, I have met the man and he is a first class piece of shit. That was long before his presidency. Now our boy was unable to be home for holidays. You expect that there will be times your military members will miss out, but in no way is it easy to accept. Especially when the president is launching air strikes and starting a war. You worry. Not knowing when you will see your child again or by the gods ever see them again. You just hold hope for your reunion and ask for their safe return.

There’s more to deal with as our old jack Russell terrier is almost 20! He’s not in pain, but he’s having the issues you expect from a 20 year old dog. I’m always with him. Cleaning after him, and comfortable. It’s not something you would find difficult, but it wears you down. I would never put a dog down because they’re causing an inconvenience. they are as much family as our own children.

Needless to say I’m tired. I’ve been tired. I feel tired and weak. Like a beat that missed hibernation. Very little time to rest however; because life still goes on. We still go on. I am not complaining. I live a fortunate life. I am blessed and loved. I have no needs keeping me from happiness.

I am, as always grateful for my life, and will continue to be better.

It can drive you mad trying to help people who won’t help themselves. They ask for help, so you give it. Then the abuse takes over. They make no attempt to move forward. Everyday is another excuse. It’s never their fault. It’s always you that’s the problem or someone else who is making their life so hard. It wasn’t their fault they rolled the car on the interstate driving with a .19 blood alcohol level. It was the guy speeding by them. It isn’t their fault that their addiction and driving impaired that their daughter could have died, but instead only had a broken arm and now suffers PTSD. it’s not their fault that their relationship didn’t work. It’s the other person who was having a relationship with someone else who wasn’t abusing them emotionally. It’s not their fault they can’t get work. Instead it’s the employer and their ridiculous expectations of sobriety in the work place. It’s not their fault they’re homeless. It’s the people being unreasonable about letting you break the rules of the house and being upset about being attacked. I mean what’s the big deal if you smoke in their daughters room when they don’t allow smoking in the house. What’s the big deal? They are so unreasonable just because they had to throw our their daughters bed because you spilled booze and food all over it and it smells like a dirty ashtray. It’s not their fault they feel persecuted because the state they had the accident in and arrested them is now hunting for them because of their failure to appear for their court date. It’s only an aggravated DUI, and child endangerment cause. They will get there when they can, and the courts and police can just wait until they’re ready.

I might be a little facetious, but I can’t deal with narcissists and their bullshit.

Stop making excuses

Stop ruining everyone’s lives

Get your shit together

stop trying to paint everyone with a brush of deceit.

Life is as hard as YOU make it.

Today we drew the line that this person wouldn’t. we put her things out in the driveway and locked the doors. If they don’t pick their stuff up in 30 days, it’s going to goodwill and I will never deal with them again.

What the experience taught me is I can’t hold everyone to the same standard I held myself. I overcame my addiction and moved forward. I can’t expect those who would rather drown than accept help. It’s taught me that there are relationships that I need to let go of before they poison my well.

I pray that the universe shines a little brighter for those that are blind to their own decisions, so they can heal

I’ve been spending a lot of time travelling around my memories. They flood over me whether I want to remember or not. Memories of cold wet socks, hot chocolate, bags of mixed fruit, and Christmas music. I remember going out in a field and trying to help my dad cut down a Christmas tree. My youngest brother wasn’t born yet. I remember coming home and feeling a little dead inside. Here it was almost Christmas, and I just felt sad and empty. The thing is I still didn’t understand my emotions let alone the confusion of being an empath. I helped decorate the tree in our little mobile home. I remember the only comfort I found was curling up under the tree and feeling calm. The smell of pine sap was potent. I would talk with what I saw as people in the wall. Or walls were the wood paneling that was everywhere in the 70’s. I remember all of a sudden seeing a memory of a young family. Living in a small log cabin. Mother and child bundled up by the fire while the father was out gathering more wood. He had been out hunting. He had a couple rabbits he caught hanging off a branch of a tree by the small cabin. They felt cold and hungry. After the last armful of wood was brought in, he grabbed the rabbits and finished cleaning them. He hands them to the woman and goes back outside. He had a concern over a noise in the trees. When he goes out he sees blood in the snow underneath the trees he heard the noise. There’s nothing he can see for tracks other than rabbit tracks that suddenly stop where the blood was. He looks up to find a large owl in the tree. The owl just watches him. He feels fear watching the bird. He hurried back to the cabin, to warm up. He tells his wife about the strange large bird he saw in the trees. He explains he never saw anything like it. It was huge and he said it made him feel like death was watching.

I’m awakened by my mother who tells me to go to bed. It was all a dream. I remember looking out my window at the snow on the ground. The yard seems bright between the moon and the porch light reflecting off the snow. I tell my friends in the wall about my dream then fell asleep. The next morning I wake up feeling better. No longer feeling empty.

Then I’m back to my childhood again. This time I’m in a Christmas parade in the town of lyndhurst. I was with my Boy Scout cub pack carrying a flag. Again wet cold feet are a thing. We finish the short parade and all of a sudden we’re at the Tye family’s place. We are all sledding and playing in the snow. Going in for hot chocolate and warming up.

Next I’m 12 and smelling electric fire. I run upstairs from my basement bedroom to find everyone is still asleep. There’s no fire but it’s coming. I frantically look for where it’s coming from. I find a Christmas light short that’s melting the wires and is wrapped around a wooden Santa Claus decoration. I unplug it and take it out the front door, but enter into another memory.

What’s the next one?

5 on horses ride east. Winter has just arrived. Pine trees all around, blocking them from the cold winds. They ride for the balance. A war has been rising between 2 sides. While both sides gain distance the return pull gets harder to resist. The world would spin to chaos. So there are the few who sacrifice all to regain balance.

The shift in the earth is causing an uprise. Too many are wanting to fight. Just as many are hiding in fear. The heavy toll will be paid by those who serve the greater cause. Civil wars battle on, but these warriors are off to do what everyone else fails to recognize. There is always a duality. The problem is without a fulcrum, you have nothing to balance the sides with. They are the fulcrum.

My head is being pounded like drum. Everyone gathers around pounding together. Non stop it continues. I’m pushed almost to the point of breaking. They stop for a moment, but my reprieve is short lived. They start again. Ever beating on my skin I feel I’m about to break. One grows tired and walks away, but another one take their place. There is no reprieve. I call out for peace and harmony, but they only harmony comes when they pound on me. Everywhere I turn I’m faced with another soul, beater in hand to take their turn.

I made the decision to help and they take too much every time. I transform back to bird form. I fly high back up the mountain. I leave them all behind, again. The owl prefers his space with his mate. He will stay there for a while. Maybe he will return, but nobody knows.

Thanksgiving in America is upon us. The hectic energy of the upcoming holiday season is well underway. The grocery stores have become a derby zone of folks in carts crashing through the aisles racing to get the bags of potatoes for two bits, and the battles at the endcaps for the last cans of cranberry sauce. The freezer is like a loading belt of frozen turkeys going from the meat department worker who can’t feel their hands from the hours of loading the frozen foul, into the bins where the poultry pirates grab them twice as fast. Pumpkin pies are as scarce as the the cranberries. Messages of peace and joy are all over, going unnoticed while wrestling match in the deli department spills into bakery with the cries of hungry warriors looking to make their sandwiches.

This is all in preparation of the big battle. A day so filled with peril it’s been named “BLACK FRIDAY!”

The day has grown so crazed it’s taken and killed the evening before it, and the 3 days following. Every store becomes a battle ground. Food courts become a triage for wounded warriors who can recharge and rest between rounds. Cashiers from the stores work as teams to try to keep the carnage to a minimum. Security patrols run increased rounds trying as well to keep the madness from spilling over in the streets. Fat greasy corporations each the battle royale from afar, where they are clearly the only victors in the chaos. Hospitals become full of wounded, and there’s always someone who pays the ultimate price. Their body can’t take the constant battery of the stress brigade.

I stopped years ago. Now I get what I need weeks before. I stock my fortress with all the necessities so I won’t have to leave and risk life and limb for a can of cranberries. I head out with my family only when I know everyone else is busy licking their wounds at home.

Floating down a river of green and red. Light reflects of the water. White light shines bright in your eyes. The sky flows pink, and purple, and orange with a yellow sun peeking from behind silhouette of a giant tree. Song’s of birds and the wind in the tall yellow grass, lulls you into a peace deeper than you have ever felt. On the air is a smell of grass, and sweet decay of fallen fruit. The warm breeze brings dandelion wishes and you watch them dance in the air. The sound of birds echos again off the water. Floating down the river, green and red.

I want to talk about a nonprofit organization I am a member of. I recently shared about my getting a kick in the ass from the All Father himself, and the different pagan gods telling me to create a safe space for all pagans and those who just want to learn. Well this led me to my friend Kharma Lindsey. Her, and her circle had already started the process of starting up the same idea I was out recruiting for. This was the day I became a part of Pagan Perspectives AZ.

Pagan perspectives AZ is based in Prescott Arizona made up of pagan community members, artists, witches, healers, and shaman. We are working to bring the greater pagan community together in support of each other. Providing a place for people of all beliefs and backgrounds to share, teach, celebrate etc.

currently we are only doing 2 sabbats just because of the cost and work that goes into them. We will be doing more of course but for now we are doing Yule, and Midsummer. Yule is a potluck dinner being held at Collective Karma 450 W Goodwin St, Prescott Arizona. December 22nd from 4-8. There’s a sign up for dishes on our website pagan www.paganperspectives.org along with more information on us and what we do.

Midsummer this year was our first under the Pagan Perspectives AZ flag. We spent it in Skull Valley Arizona at Juniper Well Ranch. This beautiful place holds such great energy and magic. We have done gatherings before but this one was our first large event. We had community meals, camping, workshops, rituals, stories, drumming, hand tastings and more. It will be happening again this midsummer, and I promise to update with the details as soon as we work them out.

While most pagans tend to not have churches, we have the same rights as those churches of Christian faith. This means while for now we raise money to pay for the holiday events, we have bigger goals. Buying land to create a sacred sanctuary, or a community of tiny homes to assist with the homeless. Create scholarships for kids to go to college. Grants for projects to better the community. Rather than putting money into building another church or mega churches etc, we can use that money for something the community actually needs.

We look to have classes for those who want to explore a different path. We have support groups for empaths. Almost the entire board at pagan perspectives are empaths. We understand how hard it is to deal with the world and navigate those energies.

For those who want to explore witchcraft, we can have experienced witches share their experience and abilities to teach classes.

For those who want to know about past lives, or reiki, or whatever, we have people for you.

Need to unburden yourself of your woes, but don’t feel the church is for you? We have people who are trained counselors, or people who can just sit with you so you don’t feel alone. We have you.

We are not to be feared. We are here to help. We hold strong to our beliefs of karma, the rule of 3, and believe we all are beautiful pieces of stardust. We are all the true light in the darkness.

You are beautiful.

You are valid.

You are loved.

Visit us online at paganperspectives.org or on Facebook and instagram.

You can visit my pages on Facebook and instagram as well.