Time waits for no man. Does time exist? Do I exist? Being aware or conscious of anything often leaves me puzzled about what is real? Confused at times if I’m awake or asleep? I feel pain so that’s real, isn’t it? More Often I ask myself these questions often trying to find logical answers. Science and medicine says I’m ok with the exception of behavioral abnormalities and an autoimmune disease. I’m intelligent and articulate, but struggle with interaction and emotional connections. I long for order but can’t seem to get out of what I see as chaos. These things are what make me confused. I’m stuck between two worlds, or two minds. I’m not delusional, but for sure I don’t see things like everyone around me. It’s difficult to process to say the least.
Spirituality confuses me. I don’t see any one thing as a definite answer, but I see the commonality between it all and I don’t understand how so few see this as well. We fight and argue over our beliefs and everyone feels they’re doing the right thing, but not one of them considering how the other feels. Some want everyone to be equal while the same amount of others feel they are better and superior to others. With the way the world is, I am surprised there’s anything left. We are like an all consuming entity of greed and insecurity. Get it before someone else gets you.
Today I’m finding the fact that there is nothing going to “save us all” from ourselves. Most of the younger generations don’t want children. Who can blame them. The rate we’re going there will be nothing left in this world to survive. So those who can’t accept their part in the problem deny truth. They choose to be willfully ignorant. There is absolutely nothing separating us from animals or better yet, a virus. It’s scary to think like this because so many felt this way usually turn out to be famous monsters of history. Take out the ones who are not what makes this our ideal world. Do you blame education or the lack of it? Do you blame politics? Do you blame religion? So often people want to blame everything but themselves. Our nature to piss on things to mark our territory. Even the peace loving nature loving person will fight and destroy those who oppose their way of life. We are all selfish. We just don’t want to believe it.
Now I sit here and I turn on the television and I find proof that there’s no visible barrier between entertainment, fantasy, horror, or real life. The six o’clock news is more like a scripted piece of a dram or horror story. Meanwhile they are manifesting things from our own nightmares. They act surprised like they can’t believe this is true, but when television and other media base so much on reality, those who don’t take time to educate themselves or think critically lose their ability to discern the difference. My own wife loves to watch all her “trash tv” because it makes her feel better about herself, meanwhile this is someone else’s reality. It’s called reality tv. Everyone who turned in basically helped pay some rich asshole to destroy or manipulate someone else’s life. Everyone just sits and watches it like it’s fun.
We created this. We are destroying our own reality every time we turn on the tv. Mo real empathy or understanding of what is happening to the world.